How exciting…

Hello and welcome to my blog. How terribly formal, I hear you say but it seemed like the right thing to say, like the opening of a BBC quiz show.

So, here we are. My first blog post. Why? Well, partly why not and partly because I’ve been boring the pants off people with my witterings at every occasion for too long – at parties, over coffee, on the phone, Facebook and so it goes on. I suspect the keenness of friends and family for me to get a blog is just an attempt to not have to listen to me or have their social media feeds clogged up with my ramblings.

Everyone who knows me knows that I like a good anecdote. I seem to have one for any and every occasion and I don’t hesitate to use them. I actually don’t really know how I’ve accumulated them all. I come from a conventional background and have never really done anything startling with my life and my existence could often be described as boring. Yet, sometimes I feel like I am drifting along in a weird parallel universe. It often seems to me like anything that could go wrong does go wrong. Who else gets dropped by an Uber driver in the wrong street at 2am and doesn’t notice until they’ve driven off, leading to an hour-long walk home in a ball gown and heels? Talking of which, who else manages to accidentally sign up to be an Uber driver when they already have about 3 jobs? And who else manages to sign up for a 468 km long charity bike ride in Sri Lanka in 3 months’ time when they’ve never really been on a bike and they don’t like the heat?

My mate T has not been so well. She suggested the charity bike ride. It seemed like a good idea at the time. Generally I live a life of indecision and procrastination. I like menus containing only 5 items as otherwise I can never choose. After all, you don’t get to be a bit chubby like me by being fussy. I once had to get a friend to choose my food at Bubba Gump’s as those chain restaurants in the US seem to have menus that are more extensive than the Oxford English dictionary and with descriptions so long that I am salivating over literally everything. But occasionally, and I mean very occasionally as in almost never, I make a snap decision from which there is no swerving.

So, Sri Lanka in February it is. Trying to get cycle fit is going to see me lurch from one disaster to the next. This is obvious. As my sister once mused when someone asked how I’d got myself into some crazy caper yet again: this is H after all… Here we go. Hold tight readers. We’re going to have a blast.